Fabric Photo Memories by Lovey: November 2011

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Confuse the Enemy...

Hello friends,

I know it has been a long time since I have really been around in blog land. Please forgive me. I had to do some soul searching. My heart was aching and I was drowning in self-pity. Hurt and bruised from loosing people that I loved so dearly, I retreated into a shell of sorrow. To make matters the worse, someone dear to me decided not to be so dear towards me. Crushed my heart or so it felt. So as I sat in my pool of self-pity and pain, I began to do some soul searching.

I had to stop and think about life and what it meant to live it. I had to stop and think about my children and the love I have for them. I had to stop and think about the outpouring of love from my blog land friends in the many emails I received. I just had to stop, think....reflect. I decided to get up, get dressed, find my make up, fix my face, loose some weight and find my smile again. As I did these things, I noticed I began floating up...I could see light...I was rising from the bottom of my pool of self-pity.

Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes the loud voice you're looking for from God is actually a soft whisper...just enough to give you HOPE. Even when the world is turned upside down...there's HOPE. I decided then to dive into that HOPE and as I dove further; HOPE turned into PEACE. Now what would PEACE be without someone or something trying to still it away? As I saw that I was walking in PEACE, resurfaced ugly, pain, hurt, evil...pity. But No, I said to them all, NO!

No, No, No, NO!

And as they waged war against my heart, mind and soul...I fought back! I was not going back into self-pity...it's no fun there. I can't reach others there. It's lonely and I am way too cool to be "Lonely."

Smiles...

I felt I was missing something from my smile though. It wasn't full. What was it? I dove deeper...

My ART.

Oh my...how I've missed you. The feel of the fabrics in my hands. The delicacy of the lace. My girls from the past brought back to the here and now. The sound of my sewing machine...the cold feel of my gingher stainless steel scissors....oh just the thought of it all brings a SMILE.

A full Smile...