So my grandmother (92) passed last night to go home. She was my mom's mom. I will be flying into Buffalo this week to pay my respects. I loved my grandmother, as you may recall she was the one that gave me my vintage sewing machine. We were close growing up. As an adult, as she became sicker, and not treating my mom so well (when she was ill), we kinda lost our closeness, although still bonded together (does that make sense?) Well now she too is gone and even though I know she lived a long life, the quality of her life towards the end wasn't the best for her. She was bed ridden for some time and cognitively starting to slip away.
I have mixed emotions hitting me this morning. My Maternal Grandmother, Mom and Uncle...all gone. I have one uncle (eldest) and aunt (second eldest) left. My grandfather whom I adored, passed when I was a teenager. This is pretty much it...the Campbells (all but those two) are gone.
I haven't flown home since my mom died 5 years ago. I couldn't, now I must. My grandmother will be laid to rest near my grandfather who is on the opposite side (across some land) of my mom and uncle.
I haven't cried (oh wait here's some tears).
Feeling sad but I knew the call was coming soon. I felt it. Actually when I saw my brothers number at that hour of the evening, I knew. So now I'm preparing to leave for a few days. My boss explained I get 4 days so I will use them accordingly. I know she's at peace. I know my mom and uncle are at peace as well. I just pray I can find some peace here in the now...until we all meet again...you know?
There are really no words for how I feel....
Except to say..."My heart Aches...."