Sunday, November 20, 2011

Confuse the Enemy...

Hello friends,

I know it has been a long time since I have really been around in blog land.  Please forgive me.  I had to do some soul searching.  My heart was aching and I was drowning in self-pity.  Hurt and bruised from loosing people that I loved so dearly, I retreated into a shell of sorrow.  To make matters the worse, someone dear to me decided not to be so dear towards me.  Crushed my heart or so it felt.  So as I sat in my pool of self-pity and pain, I began to do some soul searching. 
I had to stop and think about life and what it meant to live it.  I had to stop and think about my children and the love I have for them.  I had to stop and think about the outpouring of love from my blog land friends in the many emails I received.  I just had to stop, think....reflect.  I decided to get up, get dressed, find my make up, fix my face, loose some weight and find my smile again.  As I did these things, I noticed I began floating up...I could see light...I was rising from the bottom of my pool of self-pity.
Sometimes life isn't fair.  Sometimes the loud voice you're looking for from God is actually a soft whisper...just enough to give you HOPE.  Even when the world is turned upside down...there's HOPE.  I decided then to dive into that HOPE and as I dove further; HOPE turned into PEACE.  Now what would PEACE be without someone or something trying to still it away?  As I saw that I was walking in PEACE, resurfaced ugly, pain, hurt, evil...pity.  But No, I said to them all, NO!  
No, No, No, NO! 
And as they waged war against my heart, mind and soul...I fought back!  I was not going back into self-pity...it's no fun there.  I can't reach others there.  It's lonely and I am way too cool to be "Lonely."
Smiles...
I felt I was missing something from my smile though.  It wasn't full.  What was it?  I dove deeper...
My ART.
 Oh my...how I've missed you.  The feel of the fabrics in my hands.  The delicacy of the lace.  My girls from the past brought back to the here and now.  The sound of my sewing machine...the cold feel of my gingher stainless steel scissors....oh just the thought of it all brings a SMILE.
A full Smile...
A dear friend tells me just about everyday...
"keep on smiling...it's beautiful"
You know what?
I agree.
No more drowning....
Any of you going through anything similiar...
No more drowning...SMILE Big and confuse the Enemy!




26 comments:

The English Romantic said...

Hello Lovey,
I was so glad to read this post as I have been thinking about you and why you weren't blogging.
I have also been in that black hole you describe and have turned to my work. It has been the best medicine.lyMy grandchildren sadly lost there father last week, I took them out to lunch while I was in London, we watched the street entertainers in Covent Garden. One was a Charlie Chaplin impersonator who's final words to his audience was this.
''A day without laughter is a day wasted.''
My grand children certainly were cheered up by his act.
Take care and be well!!
Hugs, Angela.x

donna!ee said...

and what a lovely smile indeed! blest be :)

suziqu's thread works said...

Hello my sweet Lovey.
Even when I can't email you please know that I still see you in my heart smiling and I can't tell you how much your heart will be healed when you start putting those laces, faces and fabrics into new creations. I can only know this when I have visited the same place of grief through loss but let the light keep shining through the cracks and you will be renewed in every way!
Thank you so much for your lovely email too and for using my blog in your talk. You are so sweet!
Much love and blessings to you Lovey,
Suzy xoxox

Cindy Adkins said...

Hi Lovey,
First I want to wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving...I hope it is wonderful.

I have been so busy with my books and I just figured you weren't on much because of teaching those classes...I am so sorry all of this has happened--but, it sounds like a time for JOY and keeping that beautiful smile of yours!!
XO
Cindy

Dorthe said...

Sweetie, I`m so glad you confused the enemy- I`m glad you fought back: hurt, pain ,pity,and ugly,
and I`m so GLAD you started creating again, my dear Lovey.
Welcome back, to you and your beautiful smile, and gorgeous creations.
Hugs and love,Dorthe

Ohhh Snap said...

Good to see you again : ). Glad you have come back to your art!

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

What an inspirational post. I am sure you have helped so many people with your beautiful words. Sorry you had to lose someone in your life. God does work in so many ways for us, doesn't he? And yes indeed, you do have a beautiful smile:) Glad you are back.
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

Rita Barakat said...

Good for you! And I agree you are so beautiful! It is so easy for the enemy to come and try to steal our joy! praise God you did not let him win!!!SO happy you are crafting again!

Cinner said...

Hi Lovey, I am so glad you are feeling on the upside again. I read the other day that the most beautiful thing we can ever wear is a smile and I thought of you. I am wishing you the very best Thanksgiving holiday, know you are loved. hugs.

Sugar Lump Studios said...

Lovey
I am glad to know you are ok. A smile is something we all need each day. I always love seeing your creations here and I hope your soul will start creating again! Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Pat Winter said...

There's that beautiful smile! Yes Lovey, you are not alone...hormones have my emotions all over the place but I am soon getting them in check and will be on my way to a much better place. I still continue to create because I learned long ago that is my therapy..once I give that up I may never make it back. Hang in there, sounds like your plan is working.
Hugs,Pat

Terri said...

A very honest post. We need to face our imperfections and do our best to be triumphant and conquer the negative with the good. I'm so happy for you that you found your way to do this. And then you shared it with us.
One thing to be down & quiet another to stay there. And your smile can light up any room.
Hugs
Terri G.

Junibears said...

I am so glad you are feeling better sweet Lovey! You just get back to creating your beautiful pictures and Keep Smiling! Big Hugs
June xx

Evy said...

Very dear Lovey make speak about theis hands is to free its soul from the most beautiful of the manners, and you arrive there admirably! To cry a dear being is normal, it is necessary the time to say goodbye, do not want to you excess. You are on the right track by not losing your bright to smile!

Tenderness

Ana Márquez said...

Your blog is wonderful! :-) I hope you feel better now, you must think: "the night always finishes in the day". Sorry for my bad English :-) Kiss from Spain.

fairyrocks said...

Awe, you do have a gorgeous smile. And you look so like the photo you have of your Mom too, she has a gorgeous smile too.
Keep smiling and creating
You are so right, life is not fair. Hugs for you

Diane said...

You do have the most beautiful smile Lovey...full of so much love. The enemy knows EXACTLY how to get us down, and if we make it through his first pass, he will come at us again. Love you my friend!! xoxo

laurel said...

So sorry to hear you've had to go through some struggles lately but so glad you are on the other end of it. I'm so glad you found your beautiful smile again and are diving back into your art. Even in the midst of the pain it sounds like you were able to let it give you growth and dig into God's love. Big hugs!

Terri said...

Hello Lovey,
I am sorry that you have had such a painful time as of late. It sounds like you have turned the corner though, and are doing better. Yay! This past year has been full of challenges for us too. But it is getting better. I am looking forward to many days ahead of joyful crafting and living!
Hugs,
Terri

cardinal arts said...

was so sorry to hear of your troubles - was wondering how you were doing as you hadn't been blogging
glad to hear you are better
I know how this can happen sometimes
such a beautiful post telling us of your life an struggles
thank you for sharing this
and very glad you are back with your art!

Jann said...

You have a lovely smile, and you are so beautiful, Lovey! I'm glad you're doing better--you know that old saying, something about "Into every life a little rain must fall . . ." We've all been there! I'm thinking you will be back creating your gorgeous art in no time at all! God bless you and your family, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Big virtual hugs, Jann

Lovey said...

Thank you everyone!!! Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving!!!! Hugs to you all!!!

Inspire Others said...

Hi Lovely,
Happy Thanksgiving to you & yours!. When I read this post It got me sad and reminded me that we all been many times in our live as artists. You've been thru a lot lately and it's normal and human to feel the way you do. You are a strong, gifted, spiritual, and giving women that inspire us to create beautiful things to share with others. I'm glad you've found your way back to your stunning collections of textiles, jewels and papers to save you, to give you comfort and most of all to do what you love to do CREATE! Take small steps day by day, what's the rush? will be here to cheer for you. Stay strong! BTW, some said that a smile is the resemblance of your soul so, keep on smiling girlfriend!!! God bless☺♥☺
MoMeMa

Marlynn said...

Bear Hugs and Angel Wings surround you, sweetie! Angel Wings that hug you, you know who she is at your shoulder! *wink* xoxo

La Doña Jenny said...

Hello Lovey,

I am sorry you had been feeling this way...I hate to see anyone in this kind of pain because it's very familiar to me and I hate it. Just know that I keep you in my prayers even though I may not always leave you a comment when I visit. By the way you look lovely, Lovey in your new picture.

jenny

Katherine B said...

you know what? I think many of us can agree that we've been down that path or a similar path at some time in our lives and so you said it best! The important thing is that you stepped back and gave your mind & spirit a chance to focus and regroup. I said the same thing about my life this last quarter in 2011 and have made the decision that 2012 will not be filled with vampires who wanna suck the joy and life outta me-my ART is my joy too as well as a great stress reliever and I wasn't doing it much justice last month but I'm back too! GLAD you are back as well.....:):):) and smiling :):)

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