I Found Myself Alone and Afraid....

So last night I found myself having chest pains and palpitations.  Not knowing what to do, my husband and I prayed and later went to the Emergency Room.  

1:00 AM in the morning we found ourselves dragging our boys out of bed to make it to the hospital.  When we arrived there,  it wasn't too busy so I thought everything would be smooth sailing.

Unfortunately...

The Triage Nurse was quite irritating.  

She was so cold and insensitive towards me, it was disheartening.  

I found myself crying a bit and feeling intimidated.

From there...

I was called to the back. 

Another nurse whose patience for patients was completely gone found herself having to assist me. 

She was so angry with her morning she yelled at me, my husband and another patient. 

I found myself in tears again and feeling quite overwhelmed.

When I was finally called into the examination room, the nurse there was so condescending I felt like a "big ole baby" needing her "Mama!" She really was just that bad! 

"Mama!!!!!"

  Tears flowed, no...streamed down my face.   

Fear came, and I felt so alone.

I felt ashamed about having to be there and my uncontrollable "stream" was not helping.

Crying so much that the oxygen went into overtime...
My eyes...swollen.

Saddened by it all...All I could do was PRAY.
My children...sleepy.

My husband tried to maintain his composure for me and them. 

I just couldn't believe I found myself in the hospital again!

I felt self-pity.
 Highly Sensitive.
Concerned.

I "Wept" to the Lord...
I asked Him for Help...

I felt so alone and afraid of the unknown even though...
I knew the Lord was with me.

I found comfort in no words.

Needle pricks, blood drawn, x-rays, IV, Discomfort...

All I want is...

to wake up from this dream and find myself back whole...

where Mom is here, Angela is here, Christian is here...

Life is normal.

Alas,

when I woke up...

I was still there and life...well...

is what it is...

Depressed...

Slipping into.

Overwhelmed...

Temporarily.

Healed...

Prayerfully.

Tired...Alone...Afraid...

The Battlefield is in "The  Mind."

Today

I had to face my fears...head on.

I had to admit...

I had some...

I had to go through it...

alone...

and realize

no matter what...

God loves me and knows my shortcomings...

I don't have to be the strongest warrior...

I just have to fight my strongest...

And let...

HIM

Do ALL the rest...

© 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

Now My Heart Sings Daily...

Reflection: My Art Saves Story...

My ART SAVES STORY WAS PUBLISHED ON JENNY DOH'S SITE CRESCENDOH.COM
  FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 18, 2010 
I WILL BE A GUEST CURATOR THE WEEK OF 
DECEMBER 20,2010...WHICH IS MOM'S BIRTHDAY!
THIS WEEK HAS BEEN ALL ABOUT REFLECTING ON MY ART...
REFLECT...REMEMBER...SHARE...

Where does my story begin of art saving my life? It all started about ten years ago. My love for digital photography became a reality when I had my first son. With his birth, I wanted a way to capture his growth just like so many mothers having a child for the first time. I was excited and overwhelmed with wanting to create some type of art (I wasn't sure at the time what ... but I knew something would come to me). I wanted to detail his life and ours as a new family in a way that was beautiful and unique to me. I bought my first digital camera. It was a Fuji point and shoot. It had about 3 mega pixels and I was thrilled! I immediately began taking pictures of my son and all his firsts. As I collected more images of him, I felt compelled even more so to preserve those precious moments outside of my digital camera.

My Journey into Art
I started reading books on decoupage and scrapbooking. I fell in love with both concepts and so I bought all the necessary materials to get me started. I made decoupage boxes of my son and husband, and created scrapbook pages of them as well. All my son’s firsts, good or bad were being preserved in books and boxes. I was happy. I was having fun. Creativity was flowing. It was great. At the time my mom was living in another state and couldn't see my son as often as we'd both like. My solution was to send her scrapbook pages and decoupage boxes about her number 1 grandson, Samuel. She was always so excited to receive trinkets and pages from me. I enjoyed sending them. She became my muse. I wanted to keep her up to date with everything about our lives and she reciprocated the gestures wholeheartedly.

 

Sam and Josh

 

Tragedy and the Death of my Muse

In 2006, my mom, my best friend and muse passed away after a four year fight and long battle with cancer. “Oh My God ... what will I do?” I thought to myself as I tried to cope with her being gone. Such an empty space now inside me. How will I go on without her in my corner? Who will I share my life with? Who would care outside of her? During what was surely the hardest time in my life, I found out that I was pregnant with my second son. I was happy and sad at the same time yet torn over not having her to share his birth, his life with. My best friend Angela was struggling with her own battles as she was diagnosed with cancer the year prior but died nine months after my mom. My heart was completely broken. My art stopped. No more boxes, no more books, no more desire to create.

Love You Mom...

My Soul is Sparked with Fabric Collage
I was surfing the web in June of 2009. I was interested a little in mixed-media but not sold completely on it. Somehow I came across a site entitled “Collage Camp by KC Willis.” I was intrigued and wanted to learn more about this online camp. I joined the site and began exploring all the beautiful art collages with upholstery fabrics, aged photos, and doodads. Oh my God, could it be? My heart was beginning to sing a song again! I explored more. Bought KC's online videos, her books, articles about her art, and there was a spark inside my soul. I could feel the burdens of my loss subsiding enough to feel the joy churning on the inside of me. I felt alive again.

 K.C. Willis Collage Camp

 A Few of My Fabrics

My Art Saves
I began creating my own fabric photo collages. I came up with my own ideas of beauty and art and what it meant to me. My love for anything vintage and photos of vintage African American women found their way into everything I did, and continue to do. My collages speak volumes to me. I love collecting the photos, aging the fabrics, laces and trims. I love finding broken rhinestone jewelry to use on my collages. My heart sings daily I started a blog (fabricphotomemories.blogspot.com) where my life has intertwined with so many other gifted and talented people and artists around the world. They support and encourage me! I'm alive again.

My Fabric Transfers...Yes, that's mom smiling...

My heart sings to a beat of creating vintage photo fabric collages ― not of my children, not necessarily for my children, my mom or my husband ― but for me and I'm feeling good about Life, love and my muse ... what's in me!

Art does save ... it saved me!

Fabrics, Photos and Me!
Revisit your story...
Why do you create?
What drives you?
Reflect and Remember...
Share...

© 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

A Glimpse Into My Fabric Past...

 I thought it would be nice to revisit some of my earlier Girls...

I absolutely love these images and the layers of fabrics surrounding them...

Have you looked at any of your art from the past?

Remember why you create?

Reflect...
Enjoy...
Remember...

 © 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

Vintage Jewelry Wednesdays...

Collecting "Vintage Bling" brings me joy!

 What do you think?
Vintage...
Pretty...
Pink...

© 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

Gone Back to Work...And Feeling...

Tired!

 © 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

A New Toy Just in Time for Work...

Well with the school year so fastly approaching...and the summer fading fast...I wanted to commemorate the change of the season and the new and upcoming adventures of the school year with a New Digital Camera! Oooh...Ahh...
I think I should do this annually...hmm...
Now, with that said...I must add that...

I am truly a Fabrics Person at heart...

BUT!!!
I love my Tech Gadgets...
 Now, I know what you're thinking...
What about my Sewing Machines?
Am I forgetting my SMDivas? Oh No!
Never that!!

Whew right?  Hee Hee...

You know I LOVE MY SMDivas...6 now in total...
(yeah, yeah I know 6?...smiles)

 Oh how I love them...ahh sewing sounds, foot pedals, zoom, zoom,
layers, lace...FABRICS!!!...

Sigh, Drool, Daydream....

 Ohhh...Umm, Ahem...excuse me,
I'm sorry..."I'm Obsessed,"

I mean, I digressed...

Digital Camera...right..right, ok..

 Well I bought a Sony Nex-3 with interchangeable Lens.

 So far so good...images look beautiful...
and I Sooo...love that it's compact, stylish and comes with one changeable lens!

I now have the two lenses currently offered...
and I'm hoping that a Macro Lens will be available soon too!!
Until then...
A New Toy just in time for Work...Oh Yeah!
My Motto...
"Capture each moment and treasure them all"
I think I shall!
What about you?
Lovey

BTW...
**Don't forget about my PDF Tutorials Available...
I've gotten very nice comments about them!  
They're easy and fun to do and learn!
Click image for more Information!

 AND...
KC Willis is coming to my area for
Collage Camp October 16!
Y'all know she is my "Fabric She-Ro!"

 Well, I will be there along with Marlynn from
Honeysuckle Breeze...
When I told her I was going too, she said she was doing the "Snoopy Dance!"
I thought that was the funniest thing ever!
Can you see it?
Oh I can
...and I'm doing the dance right along with her!!

 Too Funny!

Love yah Marlynn!
And...
8/14/2010
K.C. posted about me on her Facebook Page...
Whoo Hoo!!
It just doesn't get any better than that!
Love You K.C.!
Not to Forget...
KC in a Box will be available for one more week.
Then...
KC Willis Collage Camp, Altered Books, as well as Altars and Shrines will be available in a bag with KC's own design on it!!   Imagine the possibilities!  Workshops in a Bag!

Visit KC at her blog for more information!
KC Willis - Workshops in a Bag!

© 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

Cricket, Cricket, Quiet...

Sure is quiet over here in Blog Land...

Cricket, Cricket...Quiet!

Everybody alright?
**
Yes!
**
And all is right in Blog Land again...
Cold Iced Tea with Lemons...
My Make Believe Garden
(you know the one I wish I had)...
Arts, and Crafts...and Shopping for....
School Supplies...Geez
**
And all is right in Blog Land again...

Love Y'all!

© 2010 created by Lovey

All Rights Reserved

Someone...Somewhere Thinking of You...

So I'm sitting here thinking about the events of my summer this year.  Definitely one that I will never forget and will always remember.  I have had both good days and bad days.  Great memories and ones that I would love to forget.  Life changing events of unspeakable pain, and then joys of the heart that gave me such peace.

Whew, I think to myself as I reflect about it all.

I will soon return back to work, facing new events, challenges, joys, highs and maybe lows.  But what I've learned through all I've experienced is that there is a lot of love left in the world...and even when we feel alone...we're not...

There's someone, somewhere thinking of you...

And blowing kisses your way in the wind...
 
© 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved

Technique Based Tutorials Now Available!

I am posting today about a new venture of mine.
I created two technique based tutorials that I use in my collages.
I enjoy using these techniques with fabric and I'm hoping that you will too!

I plan to put up more tutorials and even some video tutorials as well!

The two available tutorials are...

Gel Medium Transfers on Fabric Technique

Beeswax and Fabric Technique

The link for MORE information can be found on my blog and here TUTORIALS.

I'm excited about this new venture and I can't wait to share my tutorials with you all.
The fee is $8.00 for each one.

The techniques are fun to do and the results are really quite beautiful.

As always...
My Heart to Yours...
Lovey

Smiles...

© 2010 created by Lovey

All Rights Reserved

Love, Love, Love Her Strength…

   This woman symbolizes strength and beauty.
Creating this collage gave me such peace….
It was wonderful  to sit at my sewing machine and really put my heart into creating this collage.  It was time to get back to what I love doing.  I actually found my smile…again…

And boy does that feel good!
BTW
Good News...
Sew Somerset has informed me that they will publish 3 of my Girls in their December Issue!
Now...that's definitely something to Smile about!
And...
I have the most exciting news about KC Willis.  She's coming to my Washington, DC area!! She will be in Alexandria, VA on October 16, 2010 to teach a one day Collage Camp Class!  I will have the wonderful opportunity to meet KC face to face!  She has been a wonderful mentor, teacher and friend and she really means the world to me!
I would love to see you in Alexandria, VA so if your in the area I encourage you to visit
KC on the Road -Studio Retreats for more information about signing up!
I'm super excited to be attending this class with...
KC Willis.
If you get a chance, check out her site for all the upcoming workshops and classes she's teaching...
Nationwide!!

 Smiles...
© 2010 created by Lovey 

All Rights Reserved